As time goes by, the past comes more relevant, more apparent. You start pondering your decisions, your deeds. You suddenly become aware of your stupor, and wish you could tie a little lasso to the hands of time and start pulling them back, just so you could do things differently, more wisely, just so you can undo your mistakes and ensure future happiness. You stare at your hand, and instead of a lasso all you see is the air-shaped presence of your stupidity.

Like a knife, a strange surge goes through your chest and you struggle to hold back this eruption of emotion that might make you feel lowly and meek.

Oh jeez, look at this little babble. I guess all I'm saying is that lately I've been thinking about whether or not I'm happy with my time in the Israeli army, which is about to end very soon. Just a bit over a month, to be exact. Throughout this time, there's just so many things I've done wrong, with one particularly brilliant and shining and making me feel like the stupidest man on Earth.

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